Shades of Drew

Tears that crowd my room I can not dry nor comfort with promises of a brighter day, or a welcoming light at the end of the tunnel. This state of mind is dangerous and forces me to manipulate those who care for me, using mindless jokes or empty gestures to distract their attention and divert their focus to anything other than the loneliness that's devouring me. This state of mind leaves me swinging from rope to rope, never with any hope of escaping the routine, caught in a loop - a circle as wide as a dream and endless as time itself. This state of mind is no one's friend and is the beginning of the end of a life ill-spent, searching for a single diamond in a pool of shit. This state of mind makes me want to give up and end this fight - fight to satisfy him and appease her and understand me. I would say I quit and release myself from the guilt - feelings of guilt for wanting to be happy. This state of mind makes me believe I do not deserve and could never earn the state of mi...

Knowing is not what angers me the most-it's what I know - that no matter what I say or do....or how much I beg and plead she will continue to run back to him. Sworn to keep a truth told in secret, bound by loyalty to a friendship far more solid that her relationship - I keep my lips sealed, my heart reaches out to her. I wish she see could see the truth in my eyes . I wish she could hear the cries of my heart for her-she who holds fast to a lie, broken promises and wasting her energy, spinning wheels leave marks on my heart, evident that the pain was there. Even if she could see in my eyes the truth or hear from my heart or were told from my lips, she would stand still in place, counting the seconds, hours, days and before you know it, overwhelmed with sorrow watching the decade fall apart, terrified by distant cries from a younger her. If I had the key to set her free yet held it tightly in my fist, am I as guilty as he who stomps her heart or am I to be considered wis...