Shades of Drew

What the hell were you thinking? Letting him in your heart, even into the sacred part. Giving of yourself all that he could never deserve! Wake up! Doing things you said you'd never do, forgetting all that is YOU. Compromising your character for what he thought was the best he'd ever had...but let's be real it wasn't worth it! OH, you think it felt good huh? Yeah, I bet if felt real good - waiting for the phone call that would never come, listening to his sob story about being 40 short for the rent. Lying in bed alone with dried tear's crust glued to your cheek, shamefully wishing she knew your pain...as she held your man. ...and right when you think you've gotten it together and can make it without him, here he comes with his smile and promise of a better man, with the cell phone bill in the other hand - give him a dollar to pay the bill and continue waiting for the phone call that would never come. Yeah, your relationship had trust - you could trust that he wo...

Instead of this I want to hold a grasp of happiness in the palm of my hand, but it seems to slip through the gaps between my fingers. Instead of this, I want to laugh and wipe away tears from the abundance in my heart. Instead of this, I want to rest with the assurance that all is well. Instead of this, I want an elegant poem to woo my senses and soothe this. Instead of this, I want to dream of soaring peacefully through clouds of love and serenity. Instead of this, I almost anything would be better. Instead of this, I end this letter. By Andrew J Dorsey 5/1/08

Today I flew dangerously close to realizing my end...too close for comfort and too far from contentment. In a flash I ascended above now and experienced a glance into then a brief glance that left me further down than I thought I'd ever be. So confused with so much to say so much hidden compressed behind concrete walls and stone barriers. Maybe one day light will gather the strength to pierce darkness' grip - ease the pain from shame's mark - until then I rest my ink to stop and think. By Andrew J Dorsey 4/12/08 - 10:03 AM

I challenge myself to wirte a positve poem, full of light, hope and accomplished dreams. To look past all that is and discover what should be. I challenge myself to rise above and out of despair to embrace the promises I rejected - to walk in the peace of confidence in who I am and the potential of what I will become - happy. Today happiness doesn't seem as far away as yesterday. I didn't need a hug or kiss to find this point. I only needed to open my eyes and realize the power I have to live. So today I smile for what I know will come. A real smile backed by faith that one day, I will live happily and free. By Andrew J Dorsey 1/23/08 - 5:30 PM

Now I write to stop the finger from pulling the trigger - done did too much to make it all good....and too scared to uncover what I might discover on the other end. And finally tears to wash it all away. i just don't think I could go another day. Ashamed to face the ones I love...the disappointment in their eyes, starring through me, exposing the lies - innocent lies of happiness of confidence of intelligence. And finally tears to erase yesterday's contentment and discover today's despair . By Andrew J Dorsey 1/23/08 - 4:30 PM

(Inspired by the movie, P.S. I Love You ) I want to be some one's Jerry - to be missed, to be kissed with a passion that envelopes my hungry heart, so full of love, yet so empty - thirsty - an insatiable desire to be some one's Jerry. Everyday I see them smile, laugh, dance, and play - teasing my feeling - and they don't know - wonder if they even care if I'll ever be some one's Jerry. They say there's someone out there for everyone, but that doesn't mean that the someone will find me. Somebody loves me, but no one holds me in their heart. I want to be chosen. I want to be some one's Jerry. When will I, if ever will I meet the one who has been waiting for me. I can hardly wait to feel the connection to know his affection...reassuring me. I can hardly wait to hear those words that tickling my thoughts - I love you. Oh how I want to be some one's Jerry. Those who don't have a Jerry desperately seek, even pay to find him - those who have a Jerry des...